So the number from the title is what I officially weight based on my new scale I got from Amazon this afternoon! Honestly, I’m not sure how to feel, I’m not surprised by how big I am but I’m a little nervous because I can no longer turn a blind eye to the weight! It’s just not healthy for a brother my age to be this big unless he is the worlds biggest damn catfish in his spare time.lol. This past year has given me a new outlook on my relationship with food. The tools I have developed have truly helped me battle my abnormal size. I am by no means trying to put anyone who is my size down at all. There are plenty of people my size, who really love the size that they are and I think that’s fantastic for them! It’s just not o.k with me and after I have gotten to a reasonable size for me, I will be getting rid of this damn thing.lol The reason I am sharing this with everyone is that I am very disappointed in this part of my life!
I’m too blessed and loved to be treating myself worse than anyone around me would! When I see people who have lost an amazing amount of weight they often talk about how horrible life was before they lost the weight. They speak of how they are a better person because they weight less and all of those things. I could say it, but it would be a bunch of bullshit in my case. Throughout my life, I have been extremely blessed with amazing occurrences and events that have given me treasures beyond measure! I’m far from monetary rich but I more than make up for that in life blessings. So for me, weightloss is just one aspect of my life that needs to be altered! Right now, I am upset with myself because if I develop any complications from my weight, then I would have thrown away more than many people walking this earth ever come in possession of. People don’t just have to love me and the fact that I have people who do and show me love all the time is a gift I can no longer put in jeopardy! I don’t want to be anyone else but a better and more healthy me. That’s what all of these journal posts are about. They are about finding my way to accomplishing this goal and reaching as many people I can to come along with me because we all struggle with something!
Now, more than any other time in my entire life I know exactly what to do and how to do it. I have identified my addictions and hopefully, I will be able to overcome each and every one of them! I will not stop trying to be better and better because my family and friends deserve the best me that I can give them! Having said all of that, I wanted you all to know my business and that I don’t want people to hear from me after I have accomplished my weight loss goals! It is my intent that you get to share in the ups and downs that are certain to be apart of my weight loss journey. That when I say that I understand what you are going thru because I am facing it as we speak you can trust that! I’m not an expert because I’m going to find a way to lose the weight I want to lose, I’m family because I want all of you to truly claim victory over whatever it is that you may not like about yourself! Just because I don’t like my size doesn’t mean I don’t like me, that’s just not close to true. If I didn’t love the hell out of myself I wouldn’t be about to lose close to 300 pounds! My heart knows that I am capable and I fully expect that I will get to where I want to be!
Sorry, I took yall to church today on this one I just had such deep feelings about what happened when my scale arrived today! I did hit the gym yesterday and I got all my work done! I kept my carbs in check but I will admit that I may have eaten a little too much damn protein.lol.
From the bottom of my heart thank you to each and every one of you that read and follow along on my journey. You can trust and believe that I will be following along with you on yours! I love you all and have a blessed week! If you want to be homies on Instagram I’m alexx3982!
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